I was just thinking about how the way I dress and act, people view me as a happy bubbly person, they expect me to smile and laugh a lot but never contribute my thoughts and opinions. When people first look at me they think that I’m always happy and all I do is play, but that’s not true. My smiles aren’t always sincere, no one is constantly happy, and just because someone is smiling does not mean they feel happy. See I’ve recently discovered that if I smile and act like nothing is wrong I can fool everyone. I don’t have to explain anything to anyone and I don’t need to be constantly questioned about my mood. Sometimes I really don’t enjoy people’s company and rather spend time by myself reading and just thinking, but because of the preconceived notions people obtain about me I’m pushed into spending time with multiple friends and having to fake my happiness. It’s nice to know people enjoy my company but it’s rather uncomfortable smearing a plastic smile across my face when really, I’m drowning in frustration and problems. I don’t want to look like a doll for the rest of my life, that big-eyed cute smile is not all I’m made of, I have other emotions people have yet to understand. I guess it’s my fault for not expressing myself accurately, but being clouded with sympathy isn’t a very pleasant feeling either. I guess I’m trying to look for a perfect balance, but I don’t know where to start… ><;;
Sorry just a quick sketch today I’m in a hurry to go to bed. I know the picture isn’t great but it illustrate my point.
This post was inspired by this video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZxQiNYetPc
Check it out it’s quite nice.
Kiyomi~ 
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